Monday, May 2, 2011

Just a quick thought...

More and more lately, I have had friends write to let me know that they are unsure of what to say to me.

There really are only two things that I ask you to refrain from.

1. Making light of our suffering by telling us that we already have two kids.

I once went to a seminar on grief led by a man in remission for cancer. He had lost one of his eyes during the long battle. Over and over he heard, "Well, at least you still have one eye."

To my friend that lost her dear mother, I would never say, "Don't fret- at least you still have your dad."

Those two boys are my favorite blessings, but it doesn't minimize this loss/situation.

2. Please do not say, "You'll have more children."


The best responses generally fall along these lines:

I am so sorry.
What can we do?
Our heart aches with you.
Your story touched me.
We won't stop praying.
We believe in miracles.

I know I walk in leper's shoes these days. Emotions and sadness are tough, and this deep valley hurts. You can't wrap it in the traditional glossy Christian platitude, and that's okay with me. I have learned that is is perfectly okay for me to sink into the deep trench and know that God will rescue me, one way or another.

Thank you, as always, for walking this road with us.

2 comments:

Heather said...

Jamie! Oh sweetie, I am so, so, so sad to read your blog today. Angie Beermann and I emailed today and she asked if I knew what was going on with your family so I quickly looked you up on facebook and then your blog. My heart is aching for you and I will be praying for you a lot! Are you up for a phone call? I would be honored to talk and pray with you. I will send you my phone number via a private message in facebook. Sending you hugs and prayers, Heather

DeJongs said...

Our hearts ache with yours. We will continue to walk along side you, Josh and the boys through this difficult journey. We love you and wish we were closer to be there for you. Continually praying for a miracle.