I still have hope.

If you know anything about Josh and I, there is one thing in which we never procrastinate.

Everything else can be falling apart- the ceiling leaks, our bathtub doesn't drain, and 20% of our lights do not work.

But come April, we are the first in the neighborhood to open our pool.

Some years the snow has still been falling.

It signifies to both of us that summer is coming.

Finally! Warm weather is right around the corner.

We live for summer.

This year has obviously been busy with other things. For the first time since we moved here, May rolled around with the pool still bleak and black and winterized.

My mom had the kids overnight, so Josh and I decided this evening was as good as any other to start the long process.

Held in place by 20 two by fours, the black winter cover is the first step. Each of the boards need to be removed before we can pull the cover onto the grass to clean it for summer storage.

On the way home from my moms, we were figuring out our plan of attack. After the cover was pulled, I would start scrubbing down the tile and getting it ready for paint touch-ups. He would paint. A new stopper needed to be purchased for the hot tub.

"Okay, but you are not lifting the 2 by 4's", Josh said.

"I still have hope."

More and more lately, I feel like everyone around me is slowly giving up hope.

When I asked my OB if I could take Advil PM, his attitude was "Why not? The baby is going to die anyway".

An old neighbor was in front of me in line at the grocery store, and he asked if I was pregnant. When I told him the full story, he parted ways with me by saying "I wish you better luck with your next baby."

I am not naive.

We have yet to visit Sherwin Williams to pick out paint colors.

But, hope is all I have at this point.

I need hope.

I cannot carry this baby eight more weeks without it.

I still believe God can change this situation.

"He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted". Job 9:10

By the way- thank you to all of you that have sent note cards. I sincerely appreciate it! They are helpful to me during the day in so many ways.