Genetic

One of the things I hope to find out Monday is if this will happen again. Lord willing, we would like one more child, but I never want to go through this again.

Like, ever.

It was Valentine's Day of 2004 when I found out I was pregnant the first time.

We were not trying for a baby, but I had gotten rather lax with my birth control. One would fall down the sink drain, or I would forget for a few days at a time.

All the sudden I started calculating, and I was four days late.

I had stopped at the dollar store on the way home from work, and promptly gone into Josh's bathroom. I normally avoided his washroom, simply because I hated the burgundy and forest green floral shower curtain. I still wonder why I went in there.

I digress.

As one pink line turned into two, I remember thinking, "Well, there is no turning back now. We are going to be parents."

At ten weeks pregnant, I was working at Applebees and also choreographing a 7-8th grade musical production at Redlands Christian. Memory fails me, but it had to do with a family of ducklings.

Somewhere between "It's a Poultry Tale" and "The Wild Goose Chase", I felt sick and went to the bathroom to slash some water on my face. I then noticed I had passed a small shriveled-up sack, with a perfectly formed white baby inside.

Sitting at urgent care as they took my blood pressure, I held that mass in my hands wrapped in kleenex, thinking it was the first and only time I would get to hold my baby.

Little did I realize we were having twins.

One perfectly formed bundle of joy, heart beating loudly, was still in my womb. We left for Hawaii the next day, and I clutched my new found ultrasound pictures the entire trip there.

Two babies already lost, with this one in trouble.

Suffice to say, I have wondered if the problem is genetic or possibly X-linked.

15 vials of blood drawn on Tuesday will hopefully paint the picture.

Please pray with me that it is not genetic. I am not sure that it matters much because I am reliably certain I will never go through IVF again. Still, I worry about it being passed on to Kayden and Bryce's children.