Do you hear it?

It's coming.

I just have that feeling.

The pregnancy train is rolling in on Kelly and BB. All summer we talked about infertility, and I just know she is pregnant.

'Cause if there is ONE thing this process does, it makes me incredibly sensitive to the impending "We're pregnant!"

I wish I could say that it doesn't bug me each and every time. Logic would deduct that it should not add pressure to January, but it does in some strange way.

When I was in elementary school, I hated gym. I was reading my baby book the other night, and a note I came across said something to the effect of : Jamie had a great day in gym today. She did not cry one time, and actually played kickball with the others! We see improvement!

I must have hated sports, even back then.

Anyway, junior high rolled along. My mom thought it would be great for me to try out for volleyball since most of my friends were also trying out. I was 4'7". It wasn't going to happen, but logic wasn't on my list back then, either. I wanted to make the team so bad. Not because I like vollyball. I mean seriously, how bad would my big butt look in those underwear shorts? I can still remember walking to the car, shaking my head to my mom that "No, I did not make the team." Being a mother now, I can only imagine the pain my mom felt seeing my hopes dashed, but I guess that is another blog post for a different day.

I wouldn't say it changed my relationship with my friends, but it did make me feel left out unintentionally. When they talked about vollyball practice, or something funny that happened in a game- I was not part of it.

I want to make Team Baby.

It is hard to be sitting on the sidelines when all I want is to be in the game. Let me clarify: I am not doing this to be like my friends. Since high school, I have not been a crowd follower, even when I probably should have been.

We want another baby.

My point is that it does make it harder when everyone else is already on team baby and talking through symptoms and delivery dates and baby clothes.