Hospital 101, Part 2

Walking across the bridge today, through the lobby of the children's hospital, down the hallway, through Spectrum's lobby, past the cafeteria, and into the pharmacy brought a slew of memories.

This was my summer.

I wouldn't say I am an expert, but I think 102 days gives me a pretty clear idea of what it means to be a patient. I have been asked, as of late, what I have taken away from my hospital stay, and there are certain things that I believe could be helpful to visiting a long term resident.

May I present: 8 Helpful Hints for Hospital Visitation.

1. Timeliness is a beautiful thing. I remember a few summers ago, visiting a triplet mom on bedrest. I was fifteen minutes late, but figured "What does it matter? She is just pretty much laying there all day anyway" (sorry, Stacey!:-)

While that is partially true, I craved consistency and structure during my time on bedrest. My schedule consisted of my kids visiting once a day, being hooked up to a monitor three times a day, and a 15 minute wheel chair ride. While these things are pretty minimal in the grand scheme of things, a visitor being three hours late threw everything out of whack.

There were times I waited and waited, without a scheduled visitor showing or calling. One day, my kids were begging to go for a ride, and we spent an hour trying to get ahold of a visitor to see if they were on the way so I wouldn't miss them if they did arrive. I know it may seem okay to show up whenever, but I always thought it was nice when someone came around the time they said they would.

2. Length of stay. I had a strange aversion to eating when a visitor wasn't. It felt rude. When my lunch and dinner tray has come and gone with so much as a nibble, it might be too long.

Likewise, when Jay Leno's closing credits roll, it might be time to think about heading out.

3. Keep conversation light. While normally it would be appropriate to talk about your neighbor's neighbor who lost a baby at 27 weeks, that conversation left me in a crumpled mess when bed time came. I always appreciated talk that did not center around death, dying, miscarriage, abortions, etc.

I had someone tell me that I should just be thankful the Lord gave Justin and Amber a baby, because if Tessa died then I would still have Alexis to love. There is no replacement for a loved one, and it is hard to even know what to reply in those situations.


4. Notes of encouragement were so uplifting. Spectrum has this awesome system, which allows you to type a message through their website. It arrives on your choice of decorative paper and it was always a fun pick-me-up to get a card or one of these brought in by a volunteer.

5. Asking "Is there anything I can do?" We are blessed to be in a community where people genuinely wanted to help. I know they meant it; their intent was good. The hard part for me was knowing WHO to ask help me clean my bathrooms or a meal or bring my {6000 mile overdue} van for an oil change. The organization of all that was really difficult for me. It helped tremendously when meals were set up through the Helping Hands website, or somebody would just do it without asking.

The other thing that really helped us with our extended hospital stay were gas and cafeteria gift cards. It it amazing how fast that expense adds up.

6. Try out Smashburger. If you happen to be at Spectrum, check out the "food court" located on the first floor of the Children's parking garage. I use the term food court lightly, as it is Smashburger, Qdoba, and Zoup....but you get the idea. Much fresher than cafeteria food.

7. Christian Platitudes. It is so hard to know what to say during a difficult time. My personal least favorite saying was "God never gives us more than we can handle". I always wanted to retort, "Well, than you can deal with the uncertainty of losing your child everyday, because I don't want to!" I know that, at heart, it was coming from the right place. Sometimes, I just wanted to hear "Wow, this sucks" or "You do not deserve this" or "Everything is going to be alright."

8. Being in a hospital is not a vacation.



In Tessa girl news, her eye exam went awesome! We do not have to go back, which is a huge blessing.

The eye doctor is right next to Dr. Balaskas, so I got a chance to pop in there and show off Tessa. This is a rare treat, as we do not bring her out due to germs.

It was a beautiful moment to come full circle from that awful meeting back in April. I proudly presented him with a picture for his wall of babies.

To God be the Glory for the GREAT Things He Has Done!