God's providence

Throughout this journey, one of the things I really struggle with is whether or not we are messing with destiny.

I struggled with it last time around, and wonder if I always will.

Are we forcing God's hand? If God wanted us to have another baby, couldn't He readily do it without IVF?

Ultimately, I fall on the side of modern technology. If something was wrong with my kidney, I would use any means possible to get well. God still is the ultimate decider of whether we will get pregnant or not.

Lately, I have been really praying for peace with this, and I wanted to share a few ways that I believe God is leading us and helping us.

The price for the shared risk plan initially was $25,000. From the time we met with the doctor to the time we signed the contract, it was lowered $7,000.

Our insurance company told me they would cover half of the sonohysterogram, which was $695. I got the bill and our portion was $145.

I was put on prescription multi-vitamins, which would be around $65 a month. Meijers told me they had a very similar substitute for free.

My car was broken, and I was given an estimate of $4500 to fix it, It ended up being around $700.

The dentist decided to charge me insurance only for my two cavities I need filled because I helped her with some business stuff. It would have cost me around $300.

All these things are not coincidence. Whether God allows us to become pregnant or not hangs on my shoulders like a cloak of uncertainty, but I am thankful right now for God's providence.